“Hi Donald, can you meet me in Brownsville?”
“Are you joking? Me in Brownsville doing what? Do you have a golf course there?”
“Well, I am getting inputs before I decide on the matter of $45M a month political contribution …”
“Give me the address. What day and what time?”
“Give me your email.”
“You can tell your secretary to send it to my secretary.”
“You want someone else to know that you surreptitiously fly to Brownville to meet me to discuss the matter of $45M…?
“Ok, ok.”
BROWNSVILLE.
“What happens to your billions? Why do you want to spend time here instead of California or New York?”
“I like it here.”
“Is this your living quarters? Sleeping on the floor? In a launch facility? I don’t see a luxurious resort or a decent hotel around here.”
“How do you think I get the stamina to drive crazy thousands of super-engineers and scientists around the clock and still get juice to sire twelve children? By living a spartan lifestyle that’s how. How many children do you have after almost a hundred years on Earth? Five? I’ve twelve, and I am only about half your age. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
SILENT
“The 45 million a month, will they go to me and my campaign alone?”
PAUSE.
“Don, we have a much more serious and consequential matter to discuss than
money.”
“What? What is more important than money? My dad said…”
“We will talk about money, but more importantly about your crucial role in the future of the Republican Party and the nation.”
“What? Elon Musk lecturing Donald Trump, a veteran politician, on politics? I am politics, Elon. You have a lot to learn from me.”
“Of course, I have learned a lot from you, especially your mistakes.”
“My mistakes? Name one.”
“I can name two: your pick of Mike Pence to be your running mate.”
Trump sighed, “You got me there.”
“Your second mistake was your denial of your defeat in 2020. That was the start of the decline of the Republican Party.”
“What? I thought you were my supporter.”
“If I am not, why did I invite you to my factory? But just let me finish. I am your supporter because I agree with many of your stated positions on immigration, …”
“I am against immigrants. But you are an immigrant, am I mistaken? Heh, heh!”
“I am against mindless immigration policies, but I am not anti-immigrants per se…”
“What is that? South African parlance? Heh! Heh!”
“Be serious. What I am about to discuss with you is your future and the future of the Republican Party. If you want to stop here and forget about the …”
“45 million. Ok, Go ahead.”
“You have a history of discrimination against other races…”
“Come on Elon, you are brainwashed. I am not a racist. My son-in-law is a real Jewish boy.”
“You remember the Central Park Five?”
“No, I don’t. What was that? A concert?”
INCREDULOUS
“Four Blacks and one Hispanic were accused of assaulting and raping a white jogger in Central Park in 1989…”
“What about it?”
“Two weeks after the attack, you paid, how much, $85,000, right? for advertising space in four of New York City’s newspapers, including the New York Times. In the ad, headlined: ‘Bring Back the Death Penalty. Bring Back Our Police!’, you wrote: ‘I want to hate these muggers and murderers. They should be forced to suffer and, when they kill, they should be executed for their crimes. They must serve as examples so that others will think long and hard before committing a crime or an act of violence.’ Strong emotion. Strong language. Many people thought, and many still think, it reeked of racism.”
“I was living in New York, am I not allowed to be outraged when something that evil happened in my backyard? What about you Elon, why did you leave San Francisco?”
“Not the same thing.
“Several years later, the Central Park Five were exonerated when a violent serial rapist confessed to the crime as the police had found only his semen on the clothes worn by the victim. The city settled the case for $41m in 2014. But you did not care to apologize for your conduct in 1989. You fired back in anger. You wrote in the New York Daily News, that the case was the ‘heist of the century’”.
“What is the point here Elon?”
“You stated that Mexico sent ‘people that have lots of problems, … bringing drugs, … crime. They are rapists.’”.
“Did I not say some were good people?”
“Yes.”
“So, what is the point?”
“The point is racism catapulted you to the forefront of the MAGA Movement and sent you to the White House.”
Trump smirked, “It worked, didn’t it?”
“Racism worked to seize power for MAGA and lift you to the pinnacle of American politics in 2016. If you were more disciplined, had some control over your impulsive behavior, and understood how politics work, MAGA would have still run the country, and you would have been in your second presidential term.”
“Those unpatriotic bastard generals, Mattis, Kelly, McMasters betrayed me. Mark Meadows was incompetent. That was why I lost my second term.”
“In 2020, if you did not listen to those fawning advisors and opportunists looking for any chance to get some fame and money, if you just graciously said to the nation ‘thank you for the opportunity to serve you for four years’ and accepted the election result, you would have become the revered king of all Republicans, a statesman everyone of them would look up to, Arab money would pour into the Trump Organization’s coffer like water from the Niagara Falls, and your yacht would be longer than any owned by a Russian oligarch or an Arab prince.”
“I am the king of the Republican Party now. They are working to win 2024 for me and I won’t be president anymore. I will be King Donald.”
“You are not and will not be a king, and that is the purpose of our meeting today.”
“Sorry, what’s that? you confuse me.”
“You are a dreamer, Don. You have harbored a dream of being a superstar adored and worshipped by the multitude. You are at heart a wannabe movie star. Your obsession with being a big star explains your relentless insistence that your crowd is always big. You subconsciously want your crowd to be bigger than that greeting any other celebrity to compensate for the fact that you are not a movie star. You are obsessed with the size of your audience. You are focused solely on your own interests. That also explains why you lie repeatedly.
“In 2016, you came down your gold escalator and declared, “Wow. Woah. That is some group of people. Thousands!”, even though there were only a couple of dozen news people who were at the Trump Tower to cover your announcement of your candidacy for president of the United States of America. The very first words of your candidacy were a lie. During your four years in the White House, you made 30,573 misleading or false statements.”
“What’s wrong about that?”
“It’s probably not wrong within the Trump Tower or even the Trump Organization. But you aspired to run the country. Do you know how big, diverse, and complicated this country is, Don? Running an extremely powerful country such as the U.S. requires hard work, pragmatism, nuance, and sensitivity. You possess only probably pragmatism, which has unfortunately served only your own interests.”
“Did you ask me to come down here to tell me that?”
“Yes, because I want to save you and your legacy. But something else is at stake, something more important than you and your legacy, the Republican Party.”
“What is wrong with the Republican Party?”
“You are the leader of the Party and if you don’t know what is wrong with the Party, then the Party is in deep deep trouble.”
“Are you following in my footsteps, Elon? Got your fortune now you want to seek fame? You want my help and knowledge to get into politics, Elon? Ha! Ha! Ha. It’s funny.”
“Your money, how much is it? a few billion dollars? It’s nothing compared to mine, Don. Besides, your money has never been translated into power. I have ten maybe a hundred times your money and you can never know how much real power I am wielding. So, no Don, I don’t need your help to make money, and I don’t need your help to get into politics. I already have almost 200 million followers, more than anyone else on Earth including you. That is enough fame for me. Whatever I say or do is always with good intentions.”
“Good for you. Or should I say good for the Republican Party? Heh! Heh!”
“It was a successful enterprise when you and the MAGA faction of the Republican Party found each other. Your successful campaign in 2016 was a coup d’etat. Unfortunately, or may I say fortunately, because of your and MAGA’s incompetence, you lost your golden opportunity to carry out their plan to dismantle the democratic institutions and replace Democracy with an aristocratic regime or a dictatorship. Then, your clumsy gimmick of sending rioters to the Capitol to seize power shattered your Party…”
“Your party too, right?”
“Just say that I care that both parties are strong and effective. American Democracy needs both parties in good health. If one leg is broken the whole structure will go down. I am trying to fix the weaker leg. If it happened to be the Democratic Party, I would do the same. I solve problems.”
“Deep thought, I give you that. But if Greene and many others like her are around, I am safe, the Party will be ok. I will win in November. I am certain of that.”
“Probably if the old man is your opponent. You can still count on the votes of many white folks who still see you as their naughty boy, one of us so to speak, and would not give a s… if you shot someone on Fifth Avenue.
“But the lady, your current opponent, with her large and steady eyes, honesty oozing from her every pore, presidential manner, clear-minded and articulate language, with a generous and sincere smile of a big gentlewoman, your chance of winning has been narrowed down a whole lot.”
“Will you vote for her? I can’t help noticing that you have a lot of respect for her. And you said just now that you want to help me.”
“Didn’t you say you would appoint me the head of your efficiency commission? I am acting as one now. No more beating around the bush. I think you should not be active in politics anymore.”
STUNNED
“Are you telling me to withdraw from the running, like Biden?”
“No, I just want you to let the next Republican generation handle the silly talking on TV or podcast. You make as few appearances as possible and speak as little as possible. Let JD Vance and his peers make a fool of themselves with their faux pas, exaggeration, and lies.”
“So, we can lose the election? Why would I do that?”
“I have doubt that you will win this election. Even mainstream Republicans are tired of MAGA and want to keep a distance from you guys. Honestly, do you think you can win when Taylor Swift endorses your opponent? I watched your debate with Kamala Harris. Your repetitiveness, relentless pit bull attack from beginning to end, and your antics and lies get boring. They don’t entertain the public anymore. Your desire to pull the statesman’s craft down to the Joe six-pack level is understandable. It has been down to that level for the last eight years since you jumped into the political arena. But you don’t seem to understand that even Joe wants substance. Your performance at the debate is, how do I say it, used car salesmanship. Even the term does not truthfully describe your performance; a used car salesman does not attack another salesman senselessly but praises their own product, which means substance, what you plan to do, and how you will carry it out. Details. Your performance frankly showed only nasty and poisonous attacks against your opponent and missed the target. All negative, nothing positive. Your MO sticks to you as a permanent part of your persona. What Harris said during the debate was to the point, bull-eyed the target, and was so powerful that I think you lost the debate, and your chance of winning, is probably over.”
“What did she say?”
“You don’t know? Many things but a few stand out. Do you want me to repeat them?”
HESITATING
“I can take it.”
“She said in a leveled but serious tone of voice, ‘Dictators and aristocrats are rooting for you to be president again because it’s so clear that they can manipulate you’. Then she added, ‘So many military leaders you have worked with told me, you are a disgrace’”.
“You are working for the Democrats! You have the guts to pretend to be my friend to get me here to insult me!”
“No, Don. I work for the Republicans, and I want to save you and the Party.”
“How? Pray tell.”
“The Republicans, old and young, have been exposed to your rhetoric and manner that have bent their mind and emotion unnaturally. They don’t think straight anymore. Look at the quality of the Republican elected officials. Look at those who flock to you and try to enter your circle. Look at those news personalities on Fox and other so-called pro-Republican outlets. You tell me if you have even a little respect for any of them. It is time for MAGA’s experiment with the coarse, chaotic, and lie-driven political tactic must stop. If you don’t take care of yourself, you may find yourself in a modern
version of Sunset Boulevard.”
“Where did you learn that? Why do you want to help me?”
“I have deep feelings for the remnant of the image of a white boy with blond hair so stubborn, daring, and determined to do whatever he wants to get whatever he likes. It gives me some sense of poetry and romance of past heroic adventures. Did you watch Laurence of Arabia, Lord Jim? Never mind. But unlike you, I am in touch with reality. I know that image is changing.
“The world has changed. The Mongol Dynasty was gone. The Roman Empire disappeared after 500 years. Things always change because that is the law of nature. The best we can do is adapt and adjust. China was already a civilized nation when the Europeans made love with their clothes on. Then, we passed them and are on top now. But who knows, world order may change again and the Chinese, or Arabs, or South Africans might be on top. Don’t forget many of the powerful tools we have now were either invented or discovered by the Chinese, the Arabs, and the Indians. Mathematics, gun powders, compasses, soaps, taking showers, hygiene, taking off clothes when having sex, just to name a few. We must prepare ourselves for such change by at least making us a friendly lot as an example, to avoid the destruction of species or the earth because we are cocky and lack of imagination.”
“I thought you secretly hated the Chinese.”
“They are our competitors, and mine too. I am careful about them, but I am an engineer. I know what is good and working and acknowledge it. I openly said that their electric cars were good. I always tell the truth. I am helping you and the Republican Party, but I told you Harris beat you at the debate.”
“With friends like you, who needs enemies?”
IGNORED
“The Republican Party, by the follies of you and your cohorts, has been broken. It needs repair. I will do my part to repair it, for the sake of Democracy that needs to be preserved and protected.”
“Heh! Heh! You are fighting for Democracy. I don’t like Democracy. I don’t like anyone talking back to me unless he or she has a few billion dollars ready to be spent, or a dictator of a country easy to deal with. You know what I mean, right Elon?”
IGNORED AGAIN
“To fix the Republican Party, you must go into the sunset so to speak. You have your golf courses but now you will find new and different kinds of pleasure besides golfing and f… sorry, I mean sex, such as playing frisbee with your grandchildren, running your dog on the beach, or maybe just lounging at a swimming pool in one of your many luxury resorts and read a book. It is fun, reading a book I mean.
“MAGA has made you into a cultlike figure. Your followers in the Party just take whatever you say as biblical truth and you know that most of what you say is baloney. If you are around to tell them that our whole democratic system has cheated you, your political opponents are all crooked and so on, the Party cannot be fixed.”
“Are you telling me to take myself out of the race and let JD Vance head the ticket? Not in your life.”
“I did not say that. You stay on the ticket but let the campaigning to your surrogates such as Vance. You hold rallies, post on your Truth Social, and appear on talk shows as little as you can. You must limit them. As you know by now, Vance and most of the people working for you are amateurs politically speaking. Let them learn the ropes through their own experience. Let them not follow in your footsteps. They will see the real political landscape not constrained by your nearsighted vision for the last eight years. They will find a way, the right way within our constitutional framework to achieve at least some of the goals you have professed to pursue. If you win, let Vance and his generation run the show. If you lose, don’t repeat the mistake of 2020.”
“I’ve never said this to anyone even to Ivanka. I am tired of just being tough. I don’t know what has pushed me but all my life, I feel the irresistible urge to show off, that I am better, a winner. I may take your advice. But can you tell me how to fix the Party?”
“Well, good for you. You show concern for something not named Trump.
“MAGA saw racism as a window to enter the White House. They worked on the voters’ frustration with the current state of the nation and succeeded. Then, they believed that they were invincible and that led them, you included, on a wild path. The mainstream was unable to influence you and unprepared to fight MAGA. The Party has been rudderless and spent energy on unproductive and weird exercises. Ceaselessly and relentlessly investigating Hillary Clinton, do you know how many times? Seven. And by seven different Republican congressional committees. They tried to impeach President Biden nine times in less than two years. They even impeached the Secretary of Homeland Security for carrying out his boss’ policy. I would have fired them all and prosecuted them for wasting our money and for disgusting us.
“With your prominence in the Party reduced, MAGA will lose its grip on it. The mainstream Republicans and statesmen will again assume the helm of the Party.”
“I haven’t seen any of them, a bunch of phonies.”
“MAGA’s coup completely surprised them. Out of loyalty to the Party and the appearance of unity, they have refrained from fighting MAGA in the open. When you retire, they will come out and I am sure the Party will be back to its glory days as the Grand Old Party after we get rid of the parasites and the ass-kissing crowd.
“I will help in defining the Party’s direction and agenda, devising an action plan, and recruiting competent personnel to carry out the plan. We may lose the 2024 election, hopefully only the White House, but even if we lose the Senate and the House, we will come back strong. The Party once again will be a big tent as envisioned by Ronald Reagan. The country will see that we serve the interests of all citizens, and we will build up the country for all people. And contrary to MAGA’s propaganda that scares the white populace, nobody threatens anybody else, we will progress together, thrive together, and live harmoniously and peacefully, together. We protect and strengthen Democracy not just in our country but around the world.”
“How did you have time to learn to talk big like this? Running 4 or 5 companies, fornicating frequently enough to sire 12 children, and still having spare time for dipping into politics. You are amazing, Elon. Now I must talk to you about the $45M. When do I have it?”
“No, not 45 million dollars.”
SUSPENSE
“I will put down $100M to be in business with you.”
STUNNED
“You are pulling my leg!”
“I have already set aside the money. The business will be your specialty: a luxury resort and high-class golf course.”
“Where will they be? Florida? Not Florida. They are making it difficult. Besides, helping DeSantis? Not a chance. The Caribbean islands? Where?”
SURPRISE
“South Africa. And later we will expand to other suitable locations in Africa.”
DISAPPOINTED
“You are not serious! A golf course in Africa?”
“What’s wrong? Do you think that Africans don’t play golf? Are you a racist, Don?”
ANGRY
Trump loses control, “Yes, I am a racist. I like people who are like me, ok? Do you know anything about running a golf course and making money?”
“I don’t know now. But in a day, I will.”
“Many of my golf courses have not broken even yet. Do you know how much I will charge for a membership in Mar A Largo to make it profitable? $1M a year. Can you do that in Africa? You waste my time.”
“What about using my money and building them at any location you choose, even in Russia?”
BRIGHTENED
“Do you mean it?”
“On the condition that you will start taking a passive role for the remains of the campaign, and the next administration if you win. If you lose, you will just thank the voters and be gone. Deal?”
“I won’t deny it if the result is certified by Congress. But thanking the voters? You thank the people who vote for your opponent? Would you do that?”
“Ok, no denial and no thank you. Deal”
“Deal. When do I see the money?”
“Can you at least let me know where you want to build our golf course?”
“In Texas.”
“F…. Is it for real? I live in Texas. Unlike you, I still have a lot of juice. I will play more golf, build a few more companies, and sire a few more …”
“Knock it off.”
“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful business relationship.”
Surreptitiously recorded by JOHN P. LE PHONG.
