A CONSPIRACY THEORY ACCORDING TO A 400 POUND MAN
President Trump has accused a 400 pound man sitting in his bed of hacking into and steal emails from Hillary Clinton’s server. I immediately tried to get in touch with him looking for answers to many of my burning questions – and I have many. A presidential mention of him confirms his status as a man with deep knowledge; nowadays, if he is capable of hacking into a computer server, then he must be capable of getting all the information to shed light on many such intriguing and perplexing questions.
Chapter 1
THE SCHEME
ME: Thank you for taking my call.
THE 400 POUND MAN: Well, actually I thank you. No one, no reporter, no security agent from our government or from the Russian government, not even Wikileaks has ever tried to contact me. No one seems to care about what I know. You are the first to call.
ME: How do I address you?
T400PM: It doesn’t matter.
ME: Can I call you 400 Pound Man? Or may be Couch Potato? Or maybe just Couch for short?
COUCH: That would be fine. Call me Couch.
ME: What do you think about President’s Trump’s behavior regarding the Russian collusion investigation?
COUCH: The Russian connection did not start with Mr. Trump. It had been hatched a long time before Mr. Trump entered politics. He is a flamboyant character. No political party wanted to take him seriously. Even the ultraright Republicans, who considered him light weigh, did not let him into their inner circle – until they became convinced that he was about to get the republican nomination.
ME: Are you saying the president did not have anything to do with the Russian interference into our country’s political system?
COUCH: I am not saying that. Tell me, what Russia, Poland, Hungary and Chechen have in common?
ME: I am listening.
COUCH: They are all white. They are against immigrants, LGBTQ, Muslims, and they are for absolute political power. The Eastern European countries don’t seem to recognize the irony that they had come to the American people hat in hand asking for support to get rid of the Russians, praising the American values to convince us of their love for freedom and democracy. Once they got their independence, they turned around and have behaved exactly like the Russians, showing, again, their hatred for other races, other religions and LGBTQ.
ME: Are these countries in cahoots with the Russians to subvert our democracy?
COUCH: I am not saying that either. Do you see any group of people in the U.S. who has vehemently opposed immigrants, LGBTQ and Muslims?
ME: Are you talking about the ultra-right led by president Trump?
COUCH: Yes. Whatever you call them, ultra-right, alt-right, white supremacists, nationalists they are the same. But they are not led by the president. They are the “deep state”, not on the left but on the right.
ME: What?
COUCH: Do you remember the first political slogan used by the Trump campaign? – “Take Our Country Back”. The questions I initially asked when I read that were, From whom? From the Democrats? From the people who advocated environmental protection? or who advocated abandoning coal for clean energy? Wasn’t America their country too? At first it sounded odd, clumsy, but it turned out to be very carefully thought out, very rational – their rationality – because that was the core of their plan.
ME: There was a plan?
COUCH: Of course, there was a plan long before Donald John Trump showed any promise as a politician.
ME: A plan by the Republican Party’s deep state?
COUCH: To be exact, not the Republican Party but its ultraright faction.
ME: Do you know of any name?
COUCH: If I knew their names, it would not be deep state. But let me give you some hints. If you are white, rich, and powerful, where do you go to meet your like-minded friends?
ME: The Gentlemen’s Clubs.
COUCH Yes, but not the type of gentlemen’s clubs you may have in mind. Another kind of clubs: the golf clubs, especially the Trump golf clubs. What I am about to tell you here is only a surmise on my part because I am not a member of any club, Sam’s Club, bowling club or even fitness club even though I should join the last one.
ME: So far, everything you have told me is just your surmise, right? You have no data to back them up?
COUCH: No, I don’t have any data to back up my conspiracy theory. You think I am the FBI? But wait until I finish talking to you then you tell me if my theory makes sense.
ME: Sure.
COUCH: Those clubs are the incubators where the billionaires and millionaires such as the Mercers, the Kochs, the Bannons etc. meet to hatch schemes to make money, to shape the political landscape, to control the media, or rather to control the dissemination of information to influence people’s thinking, to manipulate the world financial system, and – this is the mother of all schemes – to conquer the world and preserve the white race’s supremacy.
ME: Wow!
COUCH: I haven’t finished yet. While wandering in his own clubs, Mr. Trump had probably heard of this grand scheme. He had been a Democrat but had converted to Republican. Since he was one of them now, the deep state did not mind sharing with him one of the goals of their scheme: connect with all the white supremacists in the world. Where do you find them? Despite significant pockets of supremacists with their leaders inefficient to appeal to larger populations, Europe including England, is too liberal, too tolerant to be helpful. The obvious target is Russia with its well organized and disciplined machine (government) led by a dictator like leader.
UP NEXT: The Russian Connection.
